This one may be a rambling post, so don’t say I didn’t warn ya!
The year I turned 30, I decided I was over being unhealthy and all the things that come along with that. I wanted to feel better physically, be more confident in how I looked, and spend my 30’s more active then I spent my 20’s (and most of my life).
So I did it. I found a personal trainer, committed to losing weight and becoming healthy, and made it happen. Those who know me, know that my life revolved around this decision.
I can’t lie, I kicked butt.
I became more active, spent my weekdays exercising and watching what I ate. My weekends consisted mainly of hiking or doing some physical activity outside. I even ran a few races… I know… I can’t believe it either. I completed a couple of 5k’s, a 4 miler and even a 10k. I lost about 80 lbs and not only did I feel healthy but I really felt strong! I’m was so proud of what I accomplished during that time and still am.
Then life happened. I met a guy and fell in love. He loved hiking, so that was helpful, but I loved going out to dinner with him and spending weekends visiting local wineries. We got engaged and there was wedding planning and celebrations and girls weekends and so much fun stuff. I knew I wanted to be healthy and my best self for the wedding, but I also was determined to enjoy that season and enjoying things for me usually includes food.
There was also a lot of work stress that most definitely affected me more then I should have let it. I knew how to lose weight, but I struggled with getting past any anxiety I was feeling without emotional eating.
I also really like food, stressed or not.
Then there was the miscarriage. I can’t lie, that’s been tough. Much harder than I ever anticipated it would be. There is so much sadness, guilt, and anxiety attached to this one single event, it has affected me in many different ways.
So here I am. While I’m not completely sure, I know I’m closer to my highest weight then I am to my goal weight. I know that hiking, an activity my husband and I spent so many of our dating days doing, is something I almost dread now, knowing that I’m not going to enjoy huffing and puffing up the mountain. I know that clothing that fit doesn’t and I’m not as comfortable in my body as I once was. I know there is no way I could run a 5k, I’m not sure I could even run a mile at this point. I know I’m not where I could be.
So what to do?
I can’t control a lot of things. I can’t control that I’m getting older. I can’t control work stress. I can’t control when we get pregnant. I can’t control life.
I can control what I eat.
I can control my daily activity.
I can control my self-control.
On Wednesday, I have an appointment scheduled with a personal trainer and I’m determined to take this head-on and meet my goal of spending my 30’s as healthy as possible!
While I don’t plan on this blog becoming all about this topic, I will definitely be posting about my journey (good and bad) so if you are interested or need encouragement or can provide encouragement- stay tuned!