love.

Warning. This post is a teensy bit sappy. Proceed with caution.

I may have spent some time guilting a certain someone (aka my husband) into making sure that he made our last couple of v-days extra special since it was a new thing for me to have someone special in my life on this day of love. Maybe I will reach a point where I won’t care, but right now, I do so I’m going with it.

Although I’ve told him many times that Valentines is for a guy to be romantic and be sweet to his girl, he continues to insist that it is a two-way street.So what do I have to give Bob?

My words, of course.

I figured I’d use this day where lovey-dovey mushiness is permitted to tell a little of our story.

Bob and I met on a dating website. I never thought I’d say that I met my husband online, but I did.

Prior to Bob, my dating life was non-existent. MIA. Zero. Zilch. Nada.

While there are probably many reasons for that, I knew that as a workaholic with a social circle made up of mainly married people, my chances of meeting someone in my daily life was nearly impossible. Also, I’m more of a homebody and not the most outgoing person in the world. So yeah, I had a lot going against me.

I had dabbled a little here and there in the online dating world – using those free eHarmony codes and even a friend’s membership that she had paid for but no longer needed- but I spent most of my time browsing through pictures and doing a lot of judging.

This time around, I went with PlentyofFish.com mainly because it was free. I was dedicated to this, but also cheap.

I had a few brief conversations with other people but Bob was the first and only person I met in person. He sent me a brief message and as I looked through his pictures I noticed he was not only cute but had a great smile and seemed to love the mountains (little did I know that he REALLY loves the mountains!). Prior to the meeting, we exchanged a few more brief messages through Plenty of Fish and then text, talking about local hikes we enjoyed and as well as stuff about our jobs and families. I was so glad he didn’t ask to talk on the phone because I hate talking on the phone. Back in those days, Bob treated texts like emails and would only respond occasionally. That didn’t stress me out, at all. Nope.

Within a few days, he asked me out to dinner and I was so excited/nervous/freaking out/all of the above.  My friends can confirm this. There were many text messages exchanged over what I needed to wear, what I should say, how the date should go, etc. I did a little stalking online, because duh, I’ve seen Dateline. Not only did I confirm he worked where he said he worked, but I also realized he and I coincidentally already followed each other on Instagram. He says that he noticed my pictures and thought I was cute, but I think he’s full of it.

Moving on. I knew it was something good when he chose the restaurant for our date based on my love for burgers and fries. I think he knew it was something good when I had no shame in my game and easily finished off my entire meal of burger, fries, and beer.

I’ve heard stories of girls who order salads and pick at their food on dates. I’m not one of those girls. I thought it was best to get that out of the way at the beginning.

We actually ordered the same exact meal (all together now- awww!).  Note. We’ve since changed our ordering method and always order different items so we can share and try different things.

The night of our first date, I remember arriving about 15 minutes early but not wanting to seem desperate, I pulled into the shopping center parking lot across from the restaurant and waited, anxiously.  I started back over about 5 minutes before I was supposed to meet him and saw him standing outside the restaurant. He was so handsome. And tall. Did I mention handsome? I sort of forgot about the traffic and almost got in an accident making a left turn into the parking lot. Whoops. I prayed hard that he didn’t see that and parked the car.

As I was walking up, I went over the options for our first hello.Do I shake his hand? Give him a hug? An awkward wave? Did I mention I didn’t date much?

He took care of that issue and went in for a hug immediately. It threw me off a little but I kept my cool. Kinda. I may have walked right into the door after that, but who doesn’t do that regularly?

That night was really the best case scenario for a first date. I had worried about what I would do if we couldn’t keep the conversation moving… but that wasn’t an issue. I felt so comfortable and we talked as though we had known each other for years. In fact, we stayed there so long that we got rude looks from the waitress for taking up her table. We tried to ignore her for a while and then finally took a hint and parted ways, but not before he asked me out again. Take that rude waitress!

The rest as they’d say… is history!

 

Our first picture together- hiking Tinker Cliffs where we made things “official”.

 

 

If you are single and reading this- these next few paragraphs are for you.

Although I’ve been single most Valentine’s Days, I’ve never really had strong feelings about it either way.

While I didn’t necessarily celebrate it, I also didn’t wear black and completely avoid the day. Usually, it was fun to see people sharing their sweet sentiments for people they loved and many years, although I didn’t have my own Valentine, I still ended up with chocolate and/or flowers, thanks to friends, so I can’t complain.

When I met Bob, I was pretty content with being single, although if I’m being completely honest my feelings on that wavered here and there. And while it’s easier to say this now, I’m so glad things worked out the way they did. I had time to figure out who I was and experience adventures in life that I probably wouldn’t have been able to otherwise. As someone who has spent more of my adulthood single than in a relationship, I can say confidently that I’m glad I took time to get to know me and like me, for me. I got healthy. I found work I loved to do. I found hobbies I enjoyed doing outside of work. I found wonderful friends. I grew up.

The saying “You complete me” is often said when it comes to love and relationships. I don’t feel like Bob completes me because no one else can complete me. I do feel like he compliments me and vice versa. We really are a match made in heaven. I’m not happier in a relationship, but I am happy being in a relationship. I always hated reading things where it was subtly (or not so subtly) implied that you had to be married with a family to feel happy and fulfilled. That can’t be further from the truth. While my life looks different then it did a few years ago, I can look back on each phase of my life and know that it was all meant to be.

Not that I’m in any place to give advice but if I was, this is what I would say. Take advantage of being single. Live where you want to live. Work where you want to work. Travel where you want to travel. While you can certainly do this in a relationship, it’s not as easy. Enjoy each phase life brings you. Appreciate love, even if it’s not the romantic kind. Best friend love. Nephew love. Pup love. Family love. It’s all good. Don’t take any of that for granted. Let people love you. Get to know yourself. Find something you love to do and do it. Get to know your friends. Learn from the bad times and appreciate the good times.

Falling in love was something I never dreamed of doing but I’m oh so glad I did. My guy is the absolute best for me and makes me feel so very special.  I’m glad I waited (even if it wasn’t always my choice) because I found someone who is absolutely perfect for me. Since our 1 year anniversary is in two months (!!!), I’ll save the rest of my sappiness for then.

3 thoughts on “love.

  1. This maybe my favorite entry! Not because it was about me, but because this was my exact mindset too. I too was okay with being single, but I’m glad I had that time to find out who I am. I’m so happy we are together,and we have 6,824 years to go!!!

    – Your Babe

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  2. Can I just say it??? AWWW! This is a beautiful rendition of what love symbolizes! I am glad to have read this story since we went to you wedding! I think Hunter and I can relate so well because I also didn’t anticipate what dating and marriage would bring, but I am realizing more that if I had been able to anticipate it, I would not have appreciated it as much as I do. I’m so glad you had the courage (by the way, courage is love in french;) to embrace love as I am also relieved I found the courage and becoming more courageous each day. Enjoy life as one! I We miss you both! I will let you know when Hunter and I are in NC for chess!

    Danielle

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