I’ve never been someone to have a large group of friends and I’ve always been content with that.
But now I look around and find myself with a social circle made up of my husband and our two dogs. Thankfully, I love hanging out with them but it would be nice (for both of us) to have other people to talk to every now and then.
Maintaining friendships post-college has been challenging. The people I’m closest too live in different states, are busy making and/or raising kids, have other friends, lives, jobs. And while we’ll always be close, not having people you can meet up with face-to-face and talk about life can be hard. Lonely, even.
Making friends as an adult is hard, at least it is hard for me. Have you ever met someone that just oozes personality and it seems like everyone wants to be their friend?
That’s not me.
As I talked about in this post, I’m a naturally awkward person. I feel normal and then I meet normal people and realize I’m not like them.
While I’m okay with that, it doesn’t make the whole friend-making thing any easier.
Making friends as an adult is somewhat like dating, but almost more awkward.
I was curious what other people did to meet people. I did what every normal adult that doesn’t have many friends does… I googled “Top 10 Places To Meet People” and found the following list which won’t help me to make friends at all, but was still interesting. This article came from AskMen.com and this is their top 10 list of places to meet women. Now I’m a happily married woman, but as I looked over this list I had some thoughts and I felt compelled to share them.
Here they are.
#10. GYM. Up to the age of 30, I went to the gym a total of 4.5 times (give or take 4 or 5). Sure, I was single until then as well, but meeting someone at the gym was never going to be an option for me. I go to the gym a little more regularly now, but I haven’t made any friends there. When I’m there, I am usually focused on trying not to die. I am sweaty and gross and smelly. Now, I am aware there are two different types of girls that go to gyms. The girls that don’t need to and the girls that do. I’m definitely in the group of girls that need to, so there is no looking cute while doing any of the things. My trainer has me in positions that could never look flattering. I have sweat spots in all types of places and I can smell myself which means the smell is strong. It’s not a good look, trust me.
#9. The Grocery Store. I’ve heard this one several times and seen this played out in movies, but once again, it didn’t work with me. During my single days, I relied on take-out a lot so there were usually only a few reasons I was typically in a grocery store. I was hungry or I needed tampons. In both cases, I wasn’t really in the mood to talk. How do you start a conversation at a grocery store? “Hey there, I saw checking out the tomatoes and I knew I had to get to know you more.” I will admit, I have the tendency to not look at people while in places like this, so I don’t exactly give the “I’m up for talking” vibe. I think of it more as a “This lady has a to-do list that is getting crossed off no matter what so I better not get in her way” vibe.
#8. Art Museum Parties. This is a thing? I’m definitely not in the crowd that would get invited to a party at an art museum. I’m guessing that you probably have to be quiet, as you whisper about what the weird painting in front of you is saying to you and then pretend to listen as other people give their thoughts on what the artist was trying to portray, all while trying to keep a straight face or not fall asleep standing up.
I can’t imagine why I wasn’t invited to any of these.
#7. A Music Festival. Okay, this one could actually be a good idea. While I’m not great at initiating conversation and I don’t love small talk (I sound like a dream, don’t I?) I’d imagine if you enjoy music and festivals and you meet someone at a music festival there is a good chance they enjoy music and festivals. It’s always helpful to have something in common. Music festivals are also a great place to people watch if that is your type of thing. If that isn’t your type of thing… well then I’m not sure what else to say.
#6. The Laundromat. I’ve only ever been to a laundromat a few times in my life. It happens. My washer or dryer broke down and I could not wear that shirt for the fourth time without washing it. I have standards. In college, the dorm laundromat was one of the few places on campus that guys and girls could hang-out together (I went to a private Christian college that had a few rules) so the laundry room was a popular place. I never got that. Granted I was single (if I haven’t mentioned that before) so that may be why I didn’t find it appealing. Why would I want to air all my dirty laundry out in front of someone else (see what I did there? No? Okay, cool). I would be the girl that dropped all her unmentionables on the floor and then in the haste of trying to pick them up before anyone else saw, I’d slip and fall and break my toe. It doesn’t sound appealing at all. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve really come to appreciate having a washer and dryer in my house and I refuse to go to a laundromat again. I realize that may not be an option for everyone, but for me, it is a priority. So there go my chances of making any friends in a laundromat.
Look out for the top 5 in an upcoming post. Such a tease, right? I know.
Have you met anyone in one of these places? Or have you met someone in an unusual place? If so, I want to hear all the details!